Before you can complain about your dating life. You need to answer yourself this next question. Do you know what you’re looking for?
And don’t just tell me love. What’s that? What’s love. Describe it for me specifically. Don’t just tell me, I want a relationship. I need you to describe it for me very specifically. What are you two doing together? Are you getting up early and going on runs? Are you reading? Are you hiking? Are you movie people?
Are you sports people? Are you planning a trip to Europe next summer? Or what are you feeling together? Is this a thrilling relationship or is this a very secure relationship? Are you feeling at ease and secure? What are you touching? What are you smelling? These are super important questions to answer, because if you don’t, then you don’t know what you’re going after guys, and listen up, this is a wake-up call for a lot of people to understand that in their love lives, a very deep, meaningful connection is supposed to literally fall in your lap, which makes no sense.
Even still, you might be in the camp of Elisa. I do not need to define what I am looking for. I will know when I know. Ugh, it’s my favorite. I will know when I know. I get you. I understand. But here’s the problem. The last time you knew you were probably younger, like a lot and we mature and age, and every decade or so everything changes. Your brain, your hormones, your experiences, and you’re trying to wait on the way you felt 15 years ago.
None of these things make any sense. So in reality, it’s important to know what moves and defines you or else you’re not going to find it. When you look for a job, what do you do? Do you actively research? Do you make contacts? Do you ask friends? Do you do the legwork? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. I do all those things, or you just hope a dream job will slap you in the face.
If you’re trying to get in shape, you’re trying to get, you know, trying to get yourself healthy. Are you watching what you eat? Are you, are you working out, are you doing research or are you doing whatever you want and hoping it’s just going to magically change on its own? Your love life is the same way.
So why do all of us sit around? Watch these movies. Watch these shows. We don’t spend any active time on our love lives, and growing those love lives and expect a real meaningful result. You guys are asking for love! You’re asking for the Holy Grail, what are you doing to get it? You know, that’s how I feel.
If your health is important to you if your job and your work are important to you. These things that you have worked at that you have failed at, that you still try at regardless of your failure. What about your relationships, what about your love?
You are seriously sitting there right now and you’re like, I want better for worse.
Woo. What are you doing to get better for worse?