When do you recommend that people swap sensitive information on the first date prior to the first date?
Depends on how sensitive, sensitive could mean I have herpes, or I’m, divorced or I have kids. So I think it just depends on what that angle is or how sensitive. I’d say to not lead with that. And if they ask of course, bring it forth or weave in if you want to weave in.
Oh, my daughter and I went to do this, so there’s like nice ways to weave that in. That’s not so demographic based, but I think it depends on what it is the other angle is maybe for the question, asker is, how do we gear them towards asking open-ended questions and things of just a nature of truly being interested in the person versus trying to get what you need to get out of your checklist.
And if it’s open-ended, it won’t be yes now or the demographic type stuff. And that’s because sometimes when we go into dating, we’re looking for reasons to put someone in the court or out of the court and it’s really, what’s the vibe. Do you have fun? Are you enjoying the conversation?
Does it flow? And by asking open-ended questions, you actually differentiate yourself from all the other daters out there that countless times, women and men say to me, they feel like they just went through a business interview, Really well said, Shannon. No, that’s you. I love that. Tip of ask open-ended questions.
That’s really smart because it, it does, it creates a colorful answer and a dynamic answer and it makes you stand out. You stand out, even if you decide, you always want to have that option of getting a second date, the quality of the conversation is based largely on the quality of the questions you ask.
I had a client of mine. Who on a one to 10 after his first date got a three. I’ve never seen anyone get a three on a date. And the woman was willing to give him a chance on a second date, but she just felt it was like pulling teeth. And then I coached him and I gave him some questions , and then he got an eight on a second date with the same person, and now he’s already matched.
This is literally in a month. It can really make a huge difference.
Ask questions that allow the other person to engage.